Friday, 20 April 2018


Control your temper.
Control your temper

1. Control your temper.

It is a human nature to reserve to defensiveness when someone tries to question their credibility as individual and that defensiveness will turn into a huge wall of egos that eventually will ignite a flame of self-justification that could lead to overwhelming temper. Distrust your first instinct of defensiveness, be thoughtful, keep calm and mind your first reaction. Bear in mind that there is nothing beneficial than a destructive force of outcome that breed from mindless temper.

Listening is the key to all misunderstanding, listening is the key that can unlock any misunderstanding, think of them as people who really want to help you.
Listening is the key to all misunderstanding

2. Listen first.

Most people they prefer to talk first and do the listening second. Here are the things; when you talk first you will create a psychology turn to your opponent and makes them to re-strategize a counter-attack to came back at you, so it is always wise to do the listening first, listening is the key that can unlock any misunderstanding, think of them as people who really want to help you.

3. Give your opponents a chance to talk.

Let them talk and finish what they are trying to say and point that they want to make. In this way, you show them a certain level of respect that eventually will turn into your favour when you are trying to best your opponent or resolve any misunderstanding. By letting them talk, you give yourself a time to rethink about your action through their perspective, it would be more disgraceful if your opponent came to you and said: “I told you so, but you won’t listen”.

4. Do not resist defend or debate.

First of all our main objective is to win or to resolve the argument, so why should we reserve for defensive or trying to debate the issues? Is that beneficial to the desirable objective? If the answer is “no” then why bother defending or debating the things that won’t contribute to your main objective which is winning the argument. Defensiveness and debate will only raise the barriers between you to get your opponent point and your opponent to get your point.

5. Try to build bridges of understanding.

Just a simple common sense; if we need to cross a highway road, we need to take the flyover bridge to do so, otherwise we might get hit by the speed passing car.  Just think of that speed passing cars is like an argument or anger and it was fast and it was furious! Forcing yourself to cross might not a good idea, so why not take the flyover bridge, it’s safer and it helps you to reach your desired destination soundly. Do not build higher barriers of misunderstanding by refusing to listen or letting your opponent to states their point.

6. Look for areas of agreement.

Have you taken an exam paper before? Did you ever get zero marks, or is it there are always some marks; a pity marks? No matter how intense the argument is, you need to keep in mind that there’s always a “marking “point that you can give to your opponent, don’t reject or simply denied their opinion, listen all what they are trying to deliver, when you have heard your opponents all out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.

7. Be honest.

“Honesty is the best policy” it’s there for a reason so why not stick to it, if you being honest, people will see you as a respectable person, capable on stating the truth and your opponent that having argument with you will be overwhelmed with your strong respectable character and listen to you more keenly.  Look for areas where you can admit error and state it as a sign of transparency.

8. Apologize for your mistake.

Apologies are a sign of weakness? It’s a sign of defeat? Well, that’s what most people think. Apologizing is the last reserve of your secret weapon, it will help disarm your opponents and reduce their defensiveness. Apologies allowed you to penetrate their defences and giving you enough times allowing you to formulate you winning formula against your opponent. Sound dirty right? Well, if winning is the objective, why not?

9. Promise to think over your opponent's ideas.

Study them carefully and ensure that you mean it. Your opponents may be right; it’s a lot easier to agree to think about their point than to recklessly ahead to decline their point and later you probably find out that you are wrong, it’s the disgraceful defeat for being ignorance and wrong.

10. Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest.

Anyone who takes their time to disagree with you is actually interested in the same things as you are, thank them for correcting you and helping you out to gain more understanding and who know… you might turn them into your friends!

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